Kathy Fagan (Dinsmoor)

My big brother Steven was 16 months older than me and was my playmate for many years when we were young. When we lived in Somerville, we shared a room with twin beds.  Our Mom would tuck us in for the night, close the door and then the fun would begin.  Kathy, he’d whisper, want to play London Bridge? We would hold hands between the beds, raise our arms up and sing the first line of London Bridge is falling down. On the word down he would swing our hands down fast and furious and tumble me right out of my bed onto the floor laughing his head off.  But, that was alright, I knew my brother loved me and I’d always love my brother.

Another game we played was green light, red light.  We would lay feet to feet in his bed, put our feet together and he’d say green light and push his right foot against my left, my knee would end up against my nose, then he say red light and push his left leg against my right almost breaking my nose again.  Then Steven would say “brake fast” and he would push both his feet against mine and send me flying off the bed laughing his head off again. But, that was alright,  I  knew my brother loved me and I’d always love my brother.

We lived a simple life in the 50s, watching Captain Kangeroo and his sidekick, Mr. Green Jeans on TV.  Steven and I had matching green overalls that Mom bought us.  Rex Trailer was another favorite.  Maybe Steven’s love of the west started from watching Rex Trailer, along with his horse Gold Rush and sidekick Pablo, performing riding tricks, rope tricks, and using the bullwhip.

When we moved to Medford we continued being playmates.  We played army with Steven’s best friend, Marland Mosher.  Steven and Marland were sergeants and I was the buck private.  I immediately would be wounded and they would drag me to the side of the yard and tell me the medics would arrive soon to help me.  Then they would run away and never come back for me.  But, that was alright, I knew my brother loved me and I’d always love my brother.

Together we dug up worms in the yard and put them in coffee cans before releasing them back to the earth, we burned holes in leaves using his magnifying glass. We each got a rabbit and before you know it, we had 22 rabbits.

Everyone knows my brother Steven was an excellent cook and it gave him great pleasure to cook for family and friends.  Well the culinary genes were not passed on to me. Steven would always say my food was simple, but delicious.  Last week when he asked me to make him some pudding, cook and serve, not instant, all I can tell you is, it came out like soup.  He drank it like soup and said, “Thank you.  It’s simple, but delicious pudding soup.”

Steven never failed to say thank you for even the simplest gesture; a sip of water, an ice chip, a wet sponge on his lips.  To quote John Wayne, Steven’s favorite actor: “COURAGE IS BEING SCARED TO DEATH BUT SADDLING UP ANYWAY”. My brother faced his cancer with great courage, determination, dignity, grace and even humor. He was grateful for, and I want to thank all of you for, your calls, cards, visits and support. He said the upside about being sick, was it brought many people back into his life and a lot of free lunches.

The stories I told you about today were what Steven and I reminisced about during the past couple of weeks.  I feel blessed for the time we were able to spend together. This past year brought back the closeness that we had as children.

 I have always loved my big brother and he always loved me.